Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – In a bold move, the New York Stock Exchange is now offering assistance for traders struggling with emotional issues due to the dwindling economy. Depressed traders that appear to be having suicidal tendencies, will now have access to vending machines on the trading floor, that will have a large variety of popular candy bars that are coated with cyanide.

New York Stock Exchange

• 01/31/2011


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