Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Former White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel was elected mayor of Chicago, easily overwhelming five rivals to take the helm of the third-largest U.S. city. After giving a victory speech in which he promised honesty and integrity, he then went to various locations all over the Windy City thanking his supporters, including 25 cemeteries, where over 30,000 dead people registered and voted for him.

Rahm Emanuel

• 02/25/2011


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