Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Wacky Weekend Questions – What was the craziest thing you’ve done or fantasized about doing to someone that dumped you?

COMMENTARY: I feel that if you get dumped unexpectedly, there is never any justification for physically harming someone. However, with property it’s a different story. I totally understand the destruction of someone’s property that has emotionally hurt you. Brand new cars are usually nice to go after, but for the person that has suffered deeply, destroying someone’s house is the best way to speed up the healing process. Within the last 20 years, I’ve burned down a couple of women’s houses that booted me out of their life. The last woman barely made it out alive. She was only able to save half of her wardrobe, and I heard that some of her clothes still smelled like smoke for almost two years. Yeah, getting dumped is very painful, that’s why no matter how much I’m in love, I always keep with me a book of matches and some lighter fluid.

Wacky Weekend Questions

• 02/27/2011


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