Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Using an innovative idea to fight crime, Mayor Rahm Emanuel passes a new controversial city law that mandates all gang members to go into forced retirement by the age 25. Also in the law, the monthly retirement income for the former gang members will vary, based on how many social security checks they will be allowed to steal out of senior citizen’s mail boxes.

Rahm Emanuel

• 07/27/2011


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