Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

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LAVENDER ROWS

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – College Park, Georgia – Televangelist Creflo Dollar shocks his congregation, when he states that the members of…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan, states the he is appalled at the scandal,…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Muppets star Miss Piggy, now openly admits that she used to…

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BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – After her appearance on the “Tonight Show”, doctors for Jessica Simpson state that…

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THE DARK POND

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Mogadishu, Somalia – U.S. intelligence officials have confirmed reports that Omar Hammami, the American-born leader of an…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington D.C. – The eleven Secret Service agents that were sent home for being involved with prostitutes…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – Director James Cameron, who wrote and produced “Titanic”, still refuses to comment on…

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                        TREE DWELLERS

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Sanford, Florida – The New Black Panthers state that they are now gearing up for a race…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Cartagena, Colombia – Approximately a dozen Secret Service agents covering President Obama in Colombia for a leaders summit,…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder states that he will not prosecute the New Black…

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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – Richard Simmons is all smiles after doctors inform him that he did not…

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                THE DROP DOME

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Boston, Massachusetts – Mitt Romney is still struggling trying to gain support from the average American. He…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – Do you believe people can be really beautiful on the inside?

COMMENTARY: Absolutely not! I’ve seen the inside of people during surgery on the Discovery Channel. The inner workings of both…

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                                       …

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Life through Blake’s eyes…

I recently broke up with this lady that worked at the emergency ward in a hospital. I couldn’t stand being…

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Wacky Weekend Questions – If a person is so ugly that their face easily scares small children, should they be precluded from working at grammar schools and day care centers?

COMMENTARY: I take the position that extremely ugly people should be given priority to work at both places. Because corporal…

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