UPDATED DAILY AT 7:00 A.M. eastern standard time / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES ARE POSTED EACH DAY ON WEEKDAYS

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – After a successful landing by the Rover on Mars, President Obama congratulates NASA. He stated that if life is found there, he will promptly order another launch to the red planet, which will bring the Martians free health care. The President concluded by saying that if the newly discovered life seems to be liberal, he’ll send a third spacecraft full of voting registration applications.

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