Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Tongling, China – The Chinese Army is stating that they recently successfully conducted a breakthrough experiment. After feeding two recruits a steady diet of eggrolls filled with helium, they learned how to fly. While being interviewed later by reporters, both men stated that within one hour of taking flight after eating the egg rolls, they were ready to fly again.

• August 30, 2012


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