Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Cupertino, California – Apple announces that by 2025, they will have developed a small cell phone that can be implanted in a women’s womb. They explained that doctors will be able to communicate with the unborn child beginning in the 7th month of the mother’s pregnancy by either calling or texting. However, many doctors are currently worried that while in the womb, if babies find out how screwed up this world is, they might barricade themselves in and refuse to come out.

Apple

• October 15, 2012


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