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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

I have six children, and my husband wants six more. I have told him countless times that I don’t want any more kids, but he says I’m being selfish and should honor his request. Please give me some advice.

Signed, Sherri

from Calgary, Alberta

* * * * * * * *

Dear Sherri,

Try this. Present to him some bogus DNA test results, and tell him it proves that you are the direct descendent of “Jack the Ripper”. Also tell him that doctors have concluded, that one of your next six kids will probably slash people to death with surgical precision as one of his or her hobbies. But, give your husband this information over a nice candle lit dinner so he won’t find it too upsetting. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice ColumnJack the Ripper

• 12/29/2012


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