Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

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BREAKING NEWS – Breezy Point, New York – A 60 foot finback whale washed ashore in a quiet coastal community in Queens. Rather than spend thousands of dollars on disposing of the large mammal, Mayor Michael Bloomberg plans on sending several bus loads of homeless people to the beach, with steak knives and buckets of tartar sauce.

Michael Bloomberg

• December 31, 2012


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