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Blake’s Advice Column

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Dear Blake,

I’m a retired a policeman from Los Angeles, and I am very frustrated with my garden. I must be doing something wrong because everything I touch, dies. I desperately need some advice.

Signed, Steve

from Los Angeles

* * * * * * * *

Dear Steve,

Many dedicated gardeners regular talk to their flowers softly and compassionately believing that will stimulate growth. As a former L.A. cop, you more than likely threatened them with a Taser or rubber hose if they didn’t do what you told them to. Gardening is definitely not for you. Be realistic, your checkered career shows that you have experience planting evidence, not roses. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• 01/27/2013


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