Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

iStock_000021005318Medium-620x412

BREAKING NEWS – Baltimore, Maryland – Four female guards became pregnant by one of the inmates at the Baltimore City Detention Center. According to Maryland Governor Martin O’ Malley, inmate Tavon White specifically targeted women that were of “low self-esteem/very unattractive”. To prevent this from happening again, O’Malley has ordered the immediate change of the hiring practices at the city’s jail, by denying all female applicants requesting a position as a guard, if they have reached a certain degree of ugly.

• 04/29/2013


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or