Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

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BREAKING NEWS – Hong Kong, China – A long line of computer geeks stood for hours outside an Apple store waiting to purchase the new iPhone 5s and 5c. They explained that being the first one in their neighborhood to get the new gadget is very important because they have nothing else going for them. These particular Chinese shoppers further explained, that they hoped the new phone would help attract members of the opposite sex, because techies in their society are either laughed at because of their drab personalities and homely appearances, or ignored all together.

• 09/26/2013


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