Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

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BREAKING NEWS – Tokyo, Japan – The Japanese lingerie company Ravijour has created a tech-laden bikini top alarm system, that was created to combat the ongoing breast implant theft that’s happening on beaches, while sunbathing women are sleeping. If the bikini top is undone without authorization, it releases an ear piercing alarm, and also sends a GPS signal from their cell phone to nearby police. Countless women in California women are applauding the new product, stating that not only does it prevents them from losing their investment, it also prevents them from losing their shallow boyfriends that wouldn’t give them the time of day without the superficial cosmetic surgery.

• 01/31/2014


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