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Blake’s Advice Column

Ask Blake Picture111

Dear Blake,

I’m 12 years old and I love the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Next year I think I want to enter the competition. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Signed, Tommy

* * * * * * * *

Dear Tommy,

I think it’s great that you have aspirations at your age. However, if you’re not Asian or from India, you’re wasting your time. Your name suggests to me that you were born and raised in America and went to our schools. No matter how bright you are, compared to most Asians and all Indians, you’re an idiot. Have you thought about becoming an astronaut? Because you have a better chance of achieving that goal, than winning the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Our mindless video game playing youth today are light years behind many countries. Still, you should chase all the dreams your youthful heart desires, but I want to be honest with you regarding your limitations. Also don’t compete with them in math either, because they’ll make you look pretty stupid in that subject too. I hope this helps.

Blake

Scripps National Spelling Bee

• 05/31/2014


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