Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

James Craig

BREAKING NEWS – Detroit, Michigan – Detroit has experienced 37 percent fewer robberies than it did last year, and Police Chief James Craig is crediting armed citizens for the drop. “Criminals are getting the message that good Detroiters are armed and will use that weapon,” said Chief Craig, who has been an open advocate for private gun ownership, the Detroit News reported. After meeting with a large group of criminals in the Motor City, the ACLU has agreed to legally represent them, threatening to sue the owners of stores and homes if they attempt to use unnecessary deadly force against any thieves during a random or well-planned burglary.

ACLU

• August 29, 2014


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