Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

130114-jaden-willow-smith

BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood, California – What goes through the minds of Jaden and Willow Smith, the children of superstar actor Will Smith and “Gotham” star Jada Pinkett Smith? Let’s start with this: For the brother-sister pair, time doesn’t really exists. “I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist,” Willow says during the interview. Jaden attempts to add his own spin on Willow’s point. “It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.” Upon reading the interview, a representative of the local child protective services contacted both Will and Jada, warning them to keep their children away from marijuana and/or Tom Cruise.

Tom CruiseWill Smith

• November 21, 2014


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or