Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

burninghouse

A very attractive woman that I used to date a few years ago recently emailed me, informing me that she was sorry for burning down my house during a fit of rage, and then added that the psychiatric care she’s been under has cured her of being a stalker and an arsonist. Included in the email was a picture of herself, and I can see she’s as pretty as ever. She then added that she was still holding a torch for me. That’s the first time I ever blushed and peed in my pants at the same time.

Life through Blake's eyes

• November 22, 2014


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