Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

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BREAKING NEWS – Miami, Florida – Jamaica wins the 4th runner up at Miss Universe 2015 and the crowd goes into an uproar of boos due to dismay at her low place. Jamaica has never won the crown and Kaci Fennell (Miss Jamaica 2014) was a standout. Her evening gown was stunning and her short haircut was a break from the norm. Her position in the top five was shocking as it seemed she was the sure favorite for the crown or at least a higher placement. The judges later stated that Fennell lost due to her culture. They said that while in the dressing room, she would regularly play loud Reggae music that she refused to turn down, smoke marijuana, and eat entire bag of chocolate chip cookies between joints.

• 01/27/2015


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