Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

etertertrt54645646

BREAKING NEWS – Baltimore, Maryland – If you hate waiting in line at a crowded bar for your next brew, Josh Goodman has got a solution for your. Goodman, CEO of PourMyBeer — a self-service beer system, is looking to revolutionize the way you drink. Customers buy a radio-frequency identification–or RFID-enabled wristband or card to access the machine. Simply tap the access point, select a beer, and start tapping. The units dispense only 32-ounces and no more than two beers at a time and the customer pays for exactly what they pour, kind of like pumping your own gas. MADD and AA are currently protesting this invention, but town drunks nationwide who are embracing it, are showing their support for Goodman , and plan on mobilizing in Washington, D.C. in a Million Man Stagger.

• 01/28/2015


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or