Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

TIME_MACHINE

After years of tireless research, I have finally completely building a time machine. For $2500.00 I will transport anyone… into the present. I am guaranteeing, that anyone who steps into my creation, will step out into the exact same time period. I have already been asked, why I don’t transport people into the past or the future? Well, we know that the past is screwed up, and the future is probably going to be even more screwed up. What kind of idiot would want to go to those places? Anyway, to reserve your spot you can use cash or any major credit card.

Life through Blake's eyes

• 03/29/2015


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