Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

prison-break-new-york-joyce-mitchell-due-court-david-sweat-richard-matt-rehearsed-escape

BREAKING NEWS – Dannemora, New York – Prison worker Joyce Mitchell reportedly smuggled escaped convicts Richard Matt and David Sweat, tools in hamburger meat. Law enforcement sources told the New York Post that Mitchell came up with the idea to sneak the tools into the jail hidden in frozen ground beef. The news immediately prompted more than 100 volunteers to assist in the search of the escapees, with at least 75 of them being angry cows.

Joyce Mitchell

• 06/25/2015


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