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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

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BREAKING NEWS – Lima, Peru – Joran van der Sloot, the chief suspect in the May 2005 disappearance of Natalee Holloway, claims his life is under constant threat in prison and there is a $10,000 reward for his death. Van der Sloot is serving a 28-year sentence in the Challapalca prison in Peru, nicknamed the “Alcatraz of Altitudes,” for killing Stephany Flores in her hotel room in 2010. “They way the inmates are treating me is totally wrong”, he explained in a letter Fox News Latino while wiping away tears. “My history clearly shows that I am not a threat to any man because they have never been targets of my violence, but these unreasonable inmates won’t take that important fact under consideration.”

• 08/27/2015


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