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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

I’m in my third year of college at Yale and I have been dating the same lady for three years. We have a good relationship and we really enjoy each other’s company. But here’s the problem. She has never told me that she loves me, even though I have told her often. It has gotten to the point that is awkward for me to say those three words to her (I love you). It’s been three years! Can you make sense of this?

Signed, Lorne

From New Haven‚ Connecticut.

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Dear Lorne,

Unanswered questions can create a lot of friction in a relationship. But in your case, the answer is obvious, “no” she does not love you for any number of reasons. If you got a full scholarship and her parents had to pay for her education, deep down inside she might view you as a worthless sponge always looking for freebies. If she got a full scholarship and you parents paid yours, she more than likely thinks of you as an uppity arrogant snob that regularly has tantrums when your mommy and daddy won’t buy you everything you want. Or maybe she secretly would rather have an athlete in her life. And since brainiacs are notoriously uncoordinated (especially in the Ivy League) being seen with you outside of campus might be at a level of embarrassment that she emotionally can’t handle. My advice to you is to end the relationship immediately and only date women that are intellectually inferior to you. So try cruising a nearby community college where there will be plenty of attractive women who will be in awe of you, because most of them either barely got out of high school, or paid someone to take their online GED final exam. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• 10/31/2015


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