Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Honolulu, Hawaii – Homelessness in Hawaii has grown in recent years, leaving the state with 487 homeless per 100,000 people, the nation’s highest rate per capita, ahead of New York and Nevada, according to federal statistics. Hawaii Gov. David Ige has declared a state of emergency to deal with the state’s homelessness crisis just days after city and state officials cleared one of the nation’s largest homeless encampments. “These people are hurting our tourist business and I want them out of here”, he said in an interview. “They don’t work thus they should have a lot of energy, so I don’t understand why they rejected my offer of the local government buying them canoes and encouraging them to paddle to California. That state is already in financial ruins, so adding a few thousand more bums will probably be negligible.”

• November 9, 2015


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