Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Knoxville, Tennessee – If you plan on having a Christmas party at the University of Tennessee be sure to leave the Baby Jesus and Santa Claus at home. The taxpayer-funded university’s Office for Diversity and Inclusion recently released an “unofficial” edict calling for the campus to host holiday parties that do not emphasize religion or culture. “Ensure your holiday party is not a Christmas party in disguise,” the organization warned in an online document titled, “Best Practices for Inclusive Holiday Celebrations in the Workplace.” Chancellor Jimmy G. Cheek said in a statement, “We will be monitoring these parties very closely. And we will discipline every person that’s caught mentioning the name of Jesus, discussing the true meaning of Christmas, or anyone acting openly joyous that did not drink the spiked eggnog.” 

ChristmasJesusSanta Claus

• December 11, 2015


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or