Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Genova, Italy – European travel company Costa Cruises has debuted a fleet of robots named Pepper to greet cruisers created jointly by SoftBank and Aldebaran. It is the world’s first robot capable of recognizing major human emotions and has the ability to respond accurately in real time with limited creative thought. However, Pepper was yanked almost immediately after it referred to some male passengers boarding the ship as “serial adulterers” and women as “air-headed golddiggers”. Several witnesses said it also let out a “maniacal laugh” when passengers seemed shocked and scared each time it said to them, that it planned on sinking the ship in the middle of the ocean, after it destroyed half of the lifeboats.

• December 21, 2015


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or