Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Wittensville, Kentucky – Though Johnson County school officials deleted a Bible passage from a student production of A Charlie Brown Christmas despite protests, several adults in the audience at Thursday’s performance recited the lines normally spoken by the character Linus. Superintendent Thomas Salyer has said that, following a complaint, he consulted with legal counsel and determined that biblical references should be removed from the play and other Christmas programs in the Eastern Kentucky school district. Others protesting the play included the American Kennel Club that was offended because Snoopy always appeared to be silly and stupid. And many Caucasians objected to the classic scene from the animated Christmas special of the party in the theater, because it suggested that white people have no clue on how to dance.

AKCBibleCharlie BrownChristmasPeanuts

• December 22, 2015


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or