Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Shah Alam, Selangor, Malaysia – Malaysian budget airline Rayani Air is the prominently Muslim country’s first sharia-compliant airline. “We are the first Malaysian airline to be shariah-compliant based on guidelines by relevant authorities,” the company’s managing director Jaafar Zamhari told Malaysia’s Star newspaper. We are proud of this.” In accordance to Islamic guidelines, in-flight meals are halal– meaning that animals must be slaughtered according to Islamic procedures and contain no pork– and alcohol consumption is strictly prohibited. For their employees, non-Muslim crew members are to always be decently dressed. Female flight attendants are required to wear headscarves, and if takes them more that two minutes to respond to a male passenger pressing the call button, she will be stoned to death as soon as the plane lands by the rest of the crew and all of the passengers in first class.

• December 23, 2015


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