Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – North Pole, Alaska – Santa Claus is currently struggling try to replace five of the eight reindeer that are currently in drug rehab due to their crystal-meth addiction. Santa said he could still use them to fly, but the elves refuse to approach the sleigh to load it with presents, because they felt the rotten teeth and the sunken faces of the five reindeer was too frightening and nauseating to look at.

ChristmasSanta Claus

• December 24, 2015


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