Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Mogadishu, Somalia – An explosion on board Daallo Airlines Airbus A321 at 11,000 feet killed the suspected bomber, sucked him out of the plane, and forced an emergency landing. Surveillance video that investigators believe captured the handoff of an explosive-wired laptop that blew a hole in the side of a Somali jetliner proves the bombing was an inside job orchestrated by Al Qaeda-linked terror group Al Shabaab. The family members of the suicide bomber are now accusing Daallo Airlines of being Islamaphobic for not returning his luggage, and have threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau. His family went on to say that because the pilot did not immediately circle and attempt to catch the falling bomber on the jet’s wings, not only do they plan on filing a wrongful death lawsuit, they will encourage their friends not to fly their airline due to the blatant insensitive substandard customer service.

Al Qaeda

• February 8, 2016


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