Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – London, England – Tom Cruise made a surprise appearance at the BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television Arts) to present an award, but it was his face rather than his presenting skills that really got people talking. From comments that it looked “inflated” to comparisons to a “hamster in a tuxedo”: people online felt “certain” that the 53-year-old had done something to his face. Matt Sheffield wrote on Twitter: “Looks like Tom Cruise has just been on a Mission Impossible type mission to steal all the world’s botox supply for his face.” Cruise, who has always been self-conscious regarding his lack of height, said he regretfully took some advice from the leaders of the Scientology Church, who told him that he will project the illusion of being taller if his head looked swollen.

scientologyTom Cruise

• February 17, 2016


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or