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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

My son is 7 months old. He screams (not cries – no tears) every time he is not getting my full attention or being held. My friends suggest he’s spoiled because he is always with me – including at my part- time job – and may need to learn alone time. I’m about to have to quit my job and just hold him all day because the sound of his screaming drives me nuts and that seems the only solution. I appreciate any help you can offer me.

Signed, Gayle

From Topeka, Kansas

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Dear Gayle,

Many infants cry just to get their mommy’s attention. But I believe “megaphone mouth” has crossed a line. Here are some ideas for you to consider. Buy some earplugs to see if that can tune that brat out. Lay him down and put a microphone in front of him, while he’s wearing a headset, and pump up the volume. Screaming then will be so uncomfortable for him, that he may only want to communicate with you through hand signals. If he’s demonstrating this same behavior when he’s around two, then the only time you should take him in public, is when he’s wearing a muzzle. You may catch some flack from some human rights organizations, but I doubt if this would be an area of concern for PETA. But my best idea assuming he’s doing this in a couple of years, is to take him to the Grand Canyon and let him yell at the top of his lungs. And then tell him that echo he hears are ghosts and demons mimicking him, because they are getting angry at his behavior and will abduct him real soon, if he continues with his irritating temper tantrums. And when you go back to Kansas, if he starts acting up again, let him see you programming your GPS in your car for directions to Arizona. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• March 26, 2016


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