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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

I’m head-over-heels crazy for my boyfriend. We’ve been dating a year, but he’s only dropped the L-bomb, I swear, three times. They were, however, the right times. He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever dated. Should I be concerned that he doesn’t say “I love you” often?

Signed, Meredith,

From, Baton Rouge, Louisiana

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Dear Meredith,

I totally understand your longing to hear those magical three words frequently. However, you must be open to the real possibility that he can’t stand the sight of you. Such as, he might be missing his previous girlfriend and he may regularly reflect on how inadequate you are compared to her. Or you may be wearing clothes that he believes are ugly and out of style, and anytime he’s with you in public he feels like he’s escorting a bag lady. Are you wearing your make-up properly, or is it applied in a way that suggests you should also have a red rubber nose, a painted on smile, and extra long shoes? He could also be uncomfortable if you’re a lot smarter than he is, and it could be just as bad if he’s a lot smarter than you, assuming he has an issue with dating idiots. But don’t stress over this. I am confident that in the near future, he will begin to say the words “I love you” on a regular basis… he just won’t be saying them to you. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• 05/28/2016


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