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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Janesville, Wisconsin – A former elementary school teacher who passed out after showing up drunk to a bowling alley field trip is getting a $75,000 settlement from the Wisconsin city she sued. The ex-teacher, Maria Caya, filed a $5.5 million lawsuit against the city of Janesville last year claiming police improperly released her blood alcohol tests. During the initial investigation Caya stated to the police, “While teaching in school, I regularly downed a couple shots of whiskey during class because it calmed my nerves. If I had to deal with 4th graders without alcohol, I assure you I would’ve strangled one of those out of control son-of-a-b*****s!”

schools

• October 27, 2016


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