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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Hartford, Connecticut – A federal judge on Friday sentenced former Navy machinist Kristian Saucier to one year in prison and a $100 fine for taking photos inside the engine room of a nuclear submarine after the sailor’s attorneys argued for leniency by citing the FBI’s decision not to charge Hillary Clinton with mishandling classified information. U.S. District Judge Stefan Underhill never explicitly named the Democratic presidential candidate in announcing his sentencing Friday, but attorneys for the sailor said they believe invoking the so-called “Clinton defense” may have helped their client avoid additional time behind bars. When asked about this specific case while on the campaign trail, Hillary Clinton stated, “Saucier absolutely should’ve been thrown into jail. The difference between what he did and what I did is… is… uh… well,  he committed a felony underwater, and I was above the ground… or something like that.”

FBIHillary Clinton

• November 4, 2016


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