Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

My well-deserved reputation of being lazy has finally caught up with me. Instead of going to the grocery store as I should have when I was really hungry, I decided to cook anything in the kitchen that was edible. In hindsight, making onion pancakes and using Pepto-Bismol as syrup was a very stupid idea. For the past hour or so, I can’t make any sudden movements because my stomach and intestines are currently at war with each other. What the…

Life through Blake's eyes

• December 31, 2016


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