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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

I have been married for almost five years to an attorney who has excellent debate skills, mainly because he’s in court so often. The problem is, when we get into arguments, he wins almost every time, not because he is right, but because he is very good at sizing up and attacking someone with an opposing position. He has no idea how much this makes my blood boil. At this point, I have no idea what to do. Please advise me.

Signed, Felice

From Los Angeles, California

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Dear Felice,

Many people who believe they are right, often find it difficult to articulate their point of view. But in a marriage, all bets are off and playing dirty is the only way to go. Here are some ideas for your consideration. The next time you feel you’re losing, tell your husband that he has excellent debating skills, but his are not superior to the men you dated before you married him, and that they were much more romantic too. Look bewildered during one of your heated exchanges, and explain your expression by stating that sometimes it’s difficult to stay focused, because he’s aging so terribly that you often think you’re arguing with your grandfather. If he continues to unfairly overpower you in one of your discussions, when you go bed that night, pretend like you’re dreaming and start screaming out the name of a man you know your husband can’t stand. But this is probably the most effective way to make your point. Buy a male mannequin, and any time you get upset, viciously kick it in the groin, and make sure he sees you do it, explaining you have been told that it is very therapeutic. After you’ve done it for a few weeks get rid of it, and the next time there is friction between you two, start glancing at his “lower regions”. My guess is he’ll immediately wave a white flag, prompted by how painful he knows it would be to have a vasectomy via a stiletto heel. I hope this helps.


Blake's Advice Column

• 03/12/2017

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