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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and for those two years, I’ve had to put up with his cat—a product of his last relationship. I’m not a fan of cats, and the fact that this cat belonged to his ex-girlfriend? It bothers me a lot. No matter what kind of argument I put up, he refuses to rid of it. I am so frustrated and I don’t know what to do. Please help!!!

Signed, Monica

From, Santa Barbara, California

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Dear Monica,

I can understand your boyfriend being attached to a pet that he has had for years. But I don’t know why anyone would want to live under the same roof with a cat, because they are so strange, which isn’t saying much for your boyfriend. You have to try different methods that will encourage your mate to give that feline the boot, so here are some suggestions. Send an anonymous letter to your local chapter of PETA, accusing your boyfriend of using nutty animal’s fur to buff the wax off of his vehicle every time he gets his car washed. Once those losers start picketing his home, he might consider making a donation to the local animal shelter. Cats are notorious for bringing in things from the outside like dead birds and mice. You should start bringing in things and blaming it on that creature, like some radioactive material or someone’s pacemaker. If none of those work, then beat him at his own game. He has a cat, then you ought to get one. Because you live near some mountains in California, go out and get a baby cougar. And when it gets full grown, go a week without feeding it, and then smear a pork chop over your boyfriend’s clothes that he plans to wear every morning. I assure you his cat will leave on its own and never return, once it figures out who’s skeleton it saw you secretly burying late one dark and gloomy night. I hope this helps.


Blake's Advice ColumnPETA

• 03/11/2017

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