Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Comer, Georgia – Judith Moriah Armstrong was arrested after she reportedly slammed her car into a chicken truck, fled and then told officers who tracked her down that she hit the vehicle because she is a vegan. Authorities said she faces charges of hit-and-run, aggressive driving, driving under the influence, and obstruction. Armstrong was still intoxicated when arrested, and told the cops because she’s a vegan and doesn’t want people to eat fish, she plans on driving to Florida and slamming her car into the ocean.

• 03/07/2017


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