Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

I have always thought that everyone has a gift, and after all these years I figured out what mine is. It is retroactive fortune telling. People are very curious about what the future holds, but I focus on the past. I have the unique ability to confirm things… after they happen. And now, I have fine-tuned my incredible ability to the point where I can predict the exact time you will make your appointment with me, within three days after you make it. (To be honest, I am very nervous to discover that I have this new mysterious power, and hopefully I won’t ever abuse it).

Life through Blake's eyes

• 04/01/2017


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