Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – After recent bad press due to United Airlines removing passengers from planes, they are now invoking a new policy. According to the new rule, no one will be removed from the plane under any conditions, while it’s still on the ground. Plus any passenger caught recording the “inflight removals” on their cell phone, will also be “evicted” once the commercial jet reaches its maximum speed at the cruising altitude.

• 04/12/2017


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