Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Davis, California – A new vending machine in a University of California Davis study room traded the usual Hot Cheetos and Red Bull for contraceptives. The machines also have pamphlets for male students with the most popular “pick-up lines” that can be used on gullible female students to lower their inhibitions. And for the female students, the machine has pamphlets for them that shows the best way to use a well placed kick to the groin of male students, that are trying to get them to lower their inhibitions by using popular pick-up lines.

• 04/25/2017


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