Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Inmates for years have thought of ingenious — and sometimes very compromising ways — to sneak contraband inside prison walls. They’ve bribed guards, used carrier pigeons, had relatives put the goods in body cavities and, of course, who can forget a classic routine: baking a file into a cake. Corrections officials across the U.S. have reported an uptick in the last few years of drones flying over penitentiary walls to make “deliveries”. According to the most up to date statistics, when drones make drop offs over male prisons, the items are usually drugs and cigarettes. And the most common item flown over women’s prisons is make-up, because when they are paroled, they want to look less scary while interacting with the public.

• 04/28/2017


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