BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Trump fires FBI Director James Comey. Here is the unedited original letter –
Dear Director Comey:
I have received the attached letters from the Attorney General and Deputy Attorney General of the United States recommending your dismissal as the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I have accepted their recommendation and you are hereby terminated and removed from office, effective immediately. While I greatly appreciate you informing me, on three separate occasions, that I am not under investigation, you being 6’8” and regularly causing damage to the top of doorway entrances, is an unfair cost to taxpayers. So because I want to be fiscally responsible, I am letting you go. Oh, and I also took issue with you not recommending prosecution for “Crooked Hillary”, or letting that little runt Loretta Lynch get away with meeting with Bill Clinton on the tarmac in Arizona.
I wish you the best of luck (up to a point) in your future endeavors.
DONALD J. TRUMP