Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Shanghai, China – A China Southern Airlines flight was stuck in Shanghai for five hours after an elderly woman threw coins into the engine for “good luck.” The 80-year-old stopped on the tarmac to make “blessings” as she was boarding her Guangzhou-bound flight and then threw nine coins into the engine turbine. Her “good luck” ritual prompted concerned passengers to alert airline staff, who conducted a full examination of the engine and evacuated 150 passengers. After the coins were removed and the woman apologized, she caused another two hour delay, when she tried to lubricate the engine by tossing in a bottle of soy sauce.

• 06/29/2017


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