Blake’s Advice Column
I’m worried about a close friend I have known for about 10 years. She’s well-educated, independent and family-oriented. She has been online dating for quite a while and continually meets guys who have criminal backgrounds. She dated one of them on the down low for two years because she was embarrassed by how he behaved in public. The most recent man served a 16-year prison sentence for being involved in a murder. I believe in second chances up to a point, but now I’m genuinely worried for her safety. Is there anything else I can do to convince her to have safer boundaries?
From Peoria, Illinois
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I understand your justified concerns for your close friend. But it is a well established fact that “book smart” people are idiots when it comes to relationships. Anyway, here are some ideas. Show her how serious you are about wanting her to end the relationship with that violent thug, by taking an insurance policy out on her, and then showing her the new home and sports car you plan to buy, to honor her memory. Allege that he is using her for money, by emphasizing that after being in prison for 16 years, there’s no way he still likes women. Quote to her some bogus statistics, which suggests that the majority of women that date ex-cons, usually become more corrupt than the men they are involved with. However, there is a possibility that this love story will have a happy ending, even if they become partners in crime. Years down the road don’t be surprised if you see a photo of her in a car with him, with her head gently leaning on his shoulder after they were confronted by cops… that mirrors the famous photo of Bonnie and Clyde at the end of their last scenic drive. I hope this helps.