Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Burlington, Vermont – The ACLU has joined Bernie Sanders in a class action lawsuit that he filed against bathroom scale manufacturers. “Millions of their customers over the years have gotten very depressed after stepping on one of those things,” explained Sanders. “It can affect a person’s self esteem, and the makers of the product only care about making a profit, without any compassion to the people glaring down at the numbers on the scale and feeling dejected. To level the playing field and to promote equality, the only fair thing to do is for all of the scales to be preprogrammed by the companies, to reflect that everyone weighs the exact same thing!”

ACLUBernie Sanders

• 08/10/2017


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or