Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Being, silent, invisible, and deadly, the powerful Advanced Test High Energy Asset (ATHENA) laser weapon can destroy enemy threats within seconds. For the United States, thanks to pioneering efforts of American companies like Lockheed Martin and the military, laser weapons are no longer the stuff of science fiction. In near-term future battles, the U.S. military can choose to bring laser weapons mounted on vehicles, vessels, and more, to war. By comparison, the weapons of any enemy will look like bows and arrows. North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un referred to the creation of ATHENA, as “the United States having an unfair advantage in a military confrontation.” When he demanded access to the new “Star Wars technology” and was denied, he then threatened to send an intercontinental missile to the home of George Lucas.

• 10/03/2017


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or