Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

I was talking to my young niece a few days ago, and she told me of her plans to move to Hollywood, and become a star. She then added that she is not going to have children until she reaches her goal. When I explained to her that if she waits too long, she might not have enough eggs to give birth, she was outraged. She said she was justified in her anger, because I diminished her aspiration to have her name in lights. I felt she ovary acted.

Life through Blake's eyes

• 10/15/2017


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